I had my first proper dabble with AI in a writing process in a work situation this week. I’d played around, tried Microsoft Co-Pilot out a bit before, but have never really been content with what came out. This week I used it to review a paragraph I’d already written to try to enhance it. The result was mixed. I promptly re-edited it into a format I was happy with but some of the AI review did make the cut and improved what I’d written for that particular purpose.
I’ve been reflecting on my hesitancy of using AI in my writing processes and why I have such a deep instinct to steer away from it. It think the obvious would be to say it’s a control issue – there might be some truth in that. I don’t like that something else, in a way that I don’t understand puts new words and concepts into my mouth. It’s a weird point in the consciousness that blends truth with something that resembles truth and makes me question if I really did have that idea. And does it even matter if I didn’t? Was it on the tip of my tongue anyway or was it placed there? Would anyone really care either way? Couldn’t you just say that about all conversations? Perhaps, but this feels a little more insidious. As I consider all of these questions, for me at the moment, I’m confident it’s more than just about wanting control and clearly defined boundaries in my mind.
As I sit here writing, my 12 year old is sat next to me doing some maths revision. As she chatters away to herself she gets things wrong, laughs at herself and tries again. When she gets the right answer she’s chuffed. She’s worked it out herself and pushed through to get there. You could ask if in real life she’ll ever have to work out the value of “x” angle but that’s not the point. In other real life she will need to work out the value of “x” angle – be that in a quiet examination hall in the summer – with no access to AI. She’s going to have to just buckle up and do the work if she wants to successfully pass the exam. Is she enjoying the process? It’s hard for me to tell. But she’s definitely getting satisfaction from it even though it’s hard work. One of her school values is perseverance and that’s got to help with the attitude she has towards it.
The sense I make of this hesitancy is that essentially I feel robbed. There’s something in the refining, in the polishing, in the hard work that comes from sitting down and pushing through that changes my brain. I don’t pretend to understand how or why but for me it’s an important part of the process. A slowing down. Intention. Writing is part of me that comes out onto the page, a pulling together of swirling ideas and stilling them in my own mind as they transform from something nebulous to something solid in front of me. It’s therapeutic to me in that sense. It’s not going to be perfect. I’m OK with that.
But what about my other writing? Writing that’s for publication, writing that needs to sell to be successful. Well, to be honest I’ve not gone there yet. I can see potentially there might be some use in applying some sort of filter perhaps when it’s written but again, would this change what is fundamentally me? My work? Does this even matter? I don’t really know. At the moment I feel that if people have been managing to do this for years and years without AI then surely there must be something consumers of this content like about raw humanity creating this stuff. What the author themselves have pulled right from their individual minds and formed for the reader in a certain way. But with all of these things I am open to learning and considering other opinions.
Personally I like to read things that are well thought through. Some writers seem to do this intentionally – Dave Snowden springs to mind. You can’t easily skim read through his blogs on a quick 5 minute tea break! He advocates for the importance of thinking and readers need to apply this if they want to access his own thoughts and wisdom. Yes, it takes time and yes it means sitting with concepts and ideas and letting them seep through the layers before they find their resting place but is that really such a bad thing?
There’s no denying that AI is useful and has a place. It will benefit us all in different ways, ways we probably can’t even imagine in this moment. But I want to wave a dusty battered little flag somewhere in the corner of the room in favour of the hard work of thinking and probably will sit here with it for quite a long time while the rest of the room is overtaken by massive sheets of promise and progress. I hope a few other might join me, I think we’ll be glad of them in the end.
Receiving Consent 